Designing for Equity

Surrounded by Water: The Powers of Restorative Practices When Schools Are Immersed

Recently, a group of families whose disagreements stemmed from conflicts between their children off school grounds escalated quickly from “kid problems” to “adult problems.” One parent, weary of the repeated verbal altercations, recognized how these conflicts were affecting the students in our school and requested a circle. This request came after her child shared that a prior restorative circle among students had been effective in resolving their own disagreements. Through this process, we not only facilitated healing among the adults but also brought the students into the circle. This allowed the children to witness the power of repairing harm and how people they care about could model positive conflict resolution. It allowed everyone to take responsibility and understand the broader impact of their actions while actively repairing the harm the conflict imposed on their relationship.

What I’ve described about the approach I took with these parents is a process called “restorative practice,” a set of tools and strategies used to guide us in conflict resolution with a focus on open dialogue, mutual respect, and accountability. At Distinctive Schools, we believe that restorative practices in schools are not just methods of conflict resolution, but a mindset shift that can transform school environments and foster systemic change. As principal and director of culture, I am passionate about creating spaces where every student feels heard, valued, and supported—it’s an essential part of relationship building. And in the ever-changing landscape of education, one truth remains constant: students thrive when they are part of a supportive, inclusive community. The experience from the parents in my story underscores the importance of deep, authentic connections between families and schools.

Restorative Practices Start with Trust

Relationships are the cornerstone of a healthy educational community, which sometimes includes candid and constructive conflict. In these moments, the focus should be on learning and repairing relationships, not on punishment. Imagine if, instead of guiding these parents through repairing their relationship, I had simply said “this isn’t my problem.” Rather than considering the lasting impact of their actions, they might dwell on their frustrations. This could escalate the situation, and potentially even lead to a larger conflict between them and, in turn, between their children in school. In this scenario, no true lesson is learned, and the problem may worsen. My goal with restorative practices is to create an environment where individuals—anyone in the school community, not just students—learn from mistakes, develop empathy, and recognize the impact of their actions.

The success we’ve achieved with restorative practices at my school didn’t happen overnight; it relies on staff buy-in and modeling restorative conversations in front of students, and developing deep and trusting community connections. At the start of each school year, as teachers return to school, we prioritize a deep understanding of what restorative practices look and feel like in our school environment. This goes beyond simply explaining the principles and purpose of restorative practices; our staff actively practices restorative conversations to problem-solve and navigate disagreements, fostering a "brave space" where everyone feels encouraged to be vulnerable and engage authentically.

I think of this experience as being “surrounded by water”—you can’t truly understand the impact of restorative practices unless you immerse yourself in them. When I see staff members—or, like in the story I shared, parents—requesting restorative circles among themselves, I know our practices have evolved beyond policy and have become a core part of our school culture. By embodying these practices and mindsets, we can model them authentically for our students. Engaging in restorative practices demonstrates to students that growth and learning from mistakes are lifelong processes, even for adults, and that this is a natural part of life. And as our mindsets shifted within our school community, it helped shift our greater community dynamics.

A Community-Wide Culture of Restorative Practices

Restorative practices work most effectively when we’re being proactive. At Distinctive Schools, we integrate restorative practices into our Multi-Tiered System of Support (MTSS) as a means to support all students. Through regular community-building circles, students develop a sense of belonging and trust. The reason the parents in my story were so open to having these conversations is because we have instilled restorative practices as a mindset in our community; it’s become a sort of second nature to our learners and staff. Without the students’ recognition of the circle’s value or the trust built between families and our school community, such a meaningful resolution would not have been possible.

Being proactive also means setting the tone for our school environment. We ensure that everyone knows what to expect when engaging in restorative conversations, and we continuously revisit these practices throughout the year. Having facilitators who genuinely believe in the process, fostering authenticity and encouraging participants to buy in requires our school community to regularly flex their restorative muscles. Annual refreshers and ongoing practice are essential to maintaining a consistent approach that benefits all who walk through our doors. This sort of reinforcement helps in challenging moments and as school leaders, we must commit to ongoing reflection, collaboration, and growth as a part of our community. Afterall, we are the ultimate school role models: if we can’t commit to consistent practice in vulnerability, patience, and willingness for growth—core tenets of restorative practices—how can we possibly expect our students and staff to follow suit?

Restorative practices are more than just conflict resolution tools: they are the foundation of a systemic change in education. They represent a shift away from traditional punitive measures and toward a more equitable and supportive learning environment. Through these practices, we are building school cultures that are rooted in relationships, accountability, and empathy. We are giving students a platform to learn, advocate, and grow into the leaders of tomorrow.

As educators, we have the power to create supportive school communities where every student can thrive. By investing in restorative practices, we can transform our schools into places of healing, growth, and advocacy, providing a blueprint for systemic change in education.

Photo at top courtesy of Distinctive Schools.